The final post – The morning after the day before

After an excellent night’s sleep, we all gathered for breakfast. It was lovely to see quite a few wedding guests in casual clothes, in various states of recovery from the night before. Breakfast proved to be a lovely time to share tales from the BIG day. The breakfast menu was, I have to say immense – I have never had Eggs Benedict before so plumbed for that. Yummy!

We caught up with Julie G our family friend who has loved and supported Lucy for over 15 years ,  Granny and Grandpa, Lucy’s godparents my “old” college friend Auntie Janet and Uncle Kevin, with Matthew and Katie; our friends and Richard’s godparents Uncle Richard and Auntie Susan, then  Lucy and Mark, John and Avril, Jo & Chris and Theo, Ian and Claire, Janette, Dickon and Jack to name a few.

After the best eggs ever, we were all needing to get packed up and head off in all directions. Parting with Lucy and Mark was actually the most emotional I had been all weekend. And I really did have a wobbly moment when we hugged to say goodbye, as they set off home before heading off to the Outer Hebrides. Could you really go any further away?

We had a car full of our bags and belongings, then the 5 men’s suits I had offered to return, Lucy’s dress all rolled up in a ball (Sorry Alison and Julie!), my well worn hat;  we had gift bags with wedding presents and envelopes, flowers , bridesmaids paraphernalia, an eclectic mix of car contents to form almost  the end of the wedding story.

We headed west on A69, home bound and being followed by Avril and John who had offered to collect Jo’s belongings left on Saturday morning. Then the surreal return entering home, our home looking like a bomb site. So funny as I consider on reflection, there was a table full of disguarded hair extensions, empty false eye lash boxes (!!!) there were  a lot of half drunk cups of tea and even more empty bucks fizz glasses and there were chairs on tables ( used by Chrissy the photographer). I went upstairs and there were five abandoned ( each bridesmaids) coat hangers , Lucy’s towels from the 6.15am shower, her toothbrush...more empty boxes of eyelashes(!!) It took the best part of the day to tidy and clear – which I found very therapeutic. As a completer finisher, the whole event wasn’t done until the last few things were ticked off.

The men’s suits were returned to Greenwoods – I hadn’t thought how I was going to get the 5 bulky suit cases back on my own, through the Metrocentre until I had a brain wave (in M&S car park) get a trolley and ignore the stares of those pesky Christmas shoppers! 

My beautiful MOTB hat was returned to Get Ahead hats via a garage outlet in Hexham - as Carol's son offers a return service saving the driving to Blanchland . And with that everything kind of returned to normal. Whatever normal is!

On the Sunday, as I stood on the sidelines of Richard’s football cup tie match and the autumn sun and blustery wind blew away any cobwebs I may have had..I thought so, here we are then end of the road! As Frank Sinatra might say, the final curtain.

 I had looked back over the blog posts this year, I am so glad I did capture it along the way. It has been such an adventure, such a joy along with some emotional rollercoaster rides.

I am not a writer, simply a Mum who loves her daughter and new son in law very much.  At around New Year 2013 I read the two quotes below and it gave me the courage to set up and write the blog. I hope you have enjoyed. I know I have. Thank you .

“If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself. Also you will have betrayed our community in failing to make your contribution to the whole”

And finally,

“Make visible what, without you, might never have been seen” Robert Bresson

Penultimate post. The BIG day Part 3 Close House wedding breakfast in the afternoon and evening do!

We three - Neil, Richard and I travelled in the rain to Close House in the Qashqai, something of a come down from Mel’s much loved Jag!

On arrival we immediately seemed to be drawn into a whirl of activity. First on my list (even before my welcome Bucks Fizz) was for MOTB and her technical advisor to check that the laptop (for my multi media speech!) and microphone (for my quiet voice) were both functioning fine.  Next we added some glitter hearts and purple petals to each table, as the Bride had forgotten to bring this to Close House the day before. Hannah Wildflower’s table arrangements were simply stunning, White hydrangeas and white roses in mirrored vases set on a mirror tile and surrounded by 4 little tea lights, they looked so beautiful.

All of the reception rooms looked impressive. The decor is deliciously opulent, beautiful silvers and gold with sparkling mirrors and dazzling chandeliers. So we mingled with guests, at last putting faces to some of Mark’s family names - and still I didn’t manage to down my Bucks Fizz!

As the rain continued to pour down outside, most guests had arrived and been dropped off at the main door.  The next task was to pose for a few photographs inside. However, as they say, the sun shines on the righteous and we were blessed later with about half an hour of glorious sunshine.

Photographers Chrissy and Nigel  http://www.2tonephotography.co.uk/#home/  who had been  excellent at keeping things moving along and getting people lined up, had also been keeping a watchful eye on the weather and succeeded in doing the “everybody on this one” photo taken outside. They had told Lucy and Mark that the biggest compliment to them was when couples tell them that they hardly notice them being around. And that was so true, and “we” know that when the images come back they will give such a memorable record of the occasion.

Kelly, "our" excellent on the day event organiser, got Lucy and Mark to start greeting all guests in the line up, and then we knew breakfast wouldn’t be long.  As guests made their way to the tables, they were guided by the table plan.

The plan detailed the table names which reflected both Newcastle and Middlesbrough football “legends”. The choice of who made it to the list had been a great discussion over the few months before. Mark and his Dad deciding on the final 10 names, and Neil neatly writing them on the cards with his purple ink...

I have to say, the top table was somewhat squashed in to fit us all on. And rather unfortunately the bride in her thousand layers and me in my heavy lace dress were seated together next to radiator!! Talk about hot flushes...plenty of water required.!!

The wedding breakfast itself was spot on, with excellent service and all food was really delicious. Starting with red pepper and tomato soup, chicken wrapped in ham then strawberry drambuie cheesecake washed down with French La Brouette Plaimont white or red wine.

I had a couple of MOTB moments when looked out over the whole room. I surveyed the entire setting – from the top table I could see all of our friends and family joined together with our new family and new friends.  I considered all their own stories, everyone’s own lead up to the big day, be it their outfits or travel plans – all here to celebrate Lucy and Marks marriage.

To my left was Granny’s amazing creation of the three tiered wedding cake resplendent on the window sill.

When breakfast finished at around 5.30pm, the tables were cleared and all guests had been served a glass of fizz for toasts, as well as cups of tea or coffee and a little homemade chocolate! It was now time for the speeches. Mark’s cousin Ian who was acting as Master of Ceremonies, introduced this MOTB as “brilliant” – well I don’t know about that, but nice thought thank you..

And with all good speeches involving multi media there was a technical hitch. Neil’s advice “be prepared for it to fail” ringing in my ears! I thought I covered it well, meanwhile Neil was chuntering about some poor waiter who had put the lid down on the laptop. So while Neil sorted it out, I started...I was nervous but hope that it was delivered ok. Guests seemed to enjoy the mix of photos and musical clips.... next thing I knew, I was toasting Lucy and Mark, “May your life together always be filled with love, laughter and happiness” . Then thankfully it was time for a drink!

My Dad whose 81^st birthday is on the same day, Lucy’s dear Grandpa then said a few words. Beautifully sentimental words, about his only granddaughter growing up – the bit that really got me was when he said how kind and lovely Lucy is, and the world would be a better place if more people were like her.

Mark was next, and made a brilliant job of it. He thanked everyone he needed to ( as he confessed to checking on google about a grooms speech and who to thank!) and then shared how much he loved Lucy, becoming quite emotional ( which he blamed his Mum for!)

And then it was the turn of the Best Man, Andrew – Marks long standing friend - who it transpired had shared many a sporting and social adventure growing up on Teesside. Where I had waxed lyrical about the fine setting of Hexham Abbey and Close House, Andrew opened with a comment about “It’s alright here, but it’s hardly the Transporter Bridge”..

We had a little break before the evening do. And on leaving the Mansion house, my MOTB hat was a popular choice for a few guests to try – Richard, Glenn ( Lucy’s colleague Doctor of Chiropractic ) and Graham, Rachel Chief bridesmaid’s hubby. Such fun! Sorry I still cant get all images the right way round!

The brief break meant we could check in to the Courtyard rooms.  I was sharing with my Auntie Muriel, and Neil and Richard sharing another room. The rooms were amazing, and very luxurious. Danger time came when settling in, as I removed my shoes. There is no going back after that, is there? 

Anyway, by 8pm we were ready to hit the dancefloor, Richard desperate to meet up with his best buddy George who was accompanying Lucy’s 3 other adopted Mum's – Viv, Julie and Kris. Most evening guests had arrived at Number 19 function room and the disco was in full swing. It wasn't long before the cake was wheeled in, and cut to rousing cheers. Lucy and Mark then danced their first dance to Gary ( the singer/disco man) singing Take That “Rule the World” followed by Nat King Cole’s  “Unforgettable” . Ah bless..

Delicious bacon and sausage butties ( veggie versions too) were served with the wedding cake at around 9pm. Much appreciated sustenance for the hungry dancers and non dancers. MOTB busted a few dance moves, shoes abandoned under a table. 

My only one regret of the whole day was that Neil and I retired shortly after Granny and Auntie Muriel, at about 10.30pm and so missed much of the remaining fun. I make no excuses but it had been such a long day! 

So although sad to miss the further antics, we did however, have a lovely hour of debrief in PJ's with Auntie Muriel in our very comfortable room , while waiting up for Richard to come home! Really quite funny waiting up for our 14 year old son to come home!

And I have to say that once my very lacquered hair hit the scrumptiously soft pillow, that was me. MOTB no longer, over and out.

The BIG day part 2 – a sea of friendly faces and a magnificent service

The Reverend Phil came out the back of the Abbey to greet Lucy (and MOTB) . 

There was a crowd of neighbours and friends gathered there to see us in. It was so nice to have friendly faces there.  We waited at the back of the Abbey beside the monumental font and Rachel did a final fluffle of Lucy’s dress and put her veil over her face. Just gorgeous. And once little Lola joined Steph at the front of the bridesmaid lineup, we were ready to process.

As the organist played Wagner’s Bridal Chorus echoing magnificently around the whole Abbey, the girls led the way down the aisle. Both Lucy and I were delighted to see so many family and friends as we made our way to Mark. It meant such a lot to me that so many of our friends had come to take part in this special day.

Mark and Andrew were beaming as Lucy arrived at the front of the church, and as Rachel moved the veil back off Lucy’s face, Lucy and Mark smiled at each other – and I knew everything was perfect.

The service went to plan, the hymn “Love divine all loves excelling”, followed by Neil’s reading from Colossians and then the memorable sermon, themed on “All you need it love”. Rev’d Phil managed to combine traditional and contemporary to great effect.  The vows were beautiful, exchanging of rings was moving and then they were husband and wife.

As instructed, Mark kissed his bride, and when Mark and Lucy signed the register – which Avril and I witnessed, Sally Irving the daughter of Judith ( Splitz leader) sang the Pixie Lott ballad version of Kings of Leon “Use somebody”, then Elvis “ Can’t help falling in love” and finished with Take That “Rule the world”. The whole congregation applauded after each song. They were very beautifully sung.

We then had two further hymns, “Make me channel of your peace” then a reading by Jo’s husband Chris a poem called “The One” and then to finish was the rousing “Jerusalem” .

When the one whose hand you’re holding

Is the one who holds your heart

When the one whose eyes you gaze into

Gives your hopes and dreams their start,

When the one you think of first and last

Is the one who holds you tight,

And the things you plan together

Make the whole world seem just right,

When the one whom you believe in

Puts their faith and trust in you,

You have found the one and only love

You’ll share your whole life through.

Mrs and Mrs Norton – Ellison then processed back down the aisle to Mendelssohn’s Wedding March

and a very proud MOTB accompanied Mark’s Dad John following the happy couple. We were followed by Neil and Avril then all the Bridesmaids and Ushers.

There was then a really special time where some of our special Abbey guests came and greeted me – an impromptu MOTB line up!! As I said earlier I was so moved that so many had come. I may miss some out of this list, and apologise if I don’t mention you all – but here are some....my friend of almost 30 years (!) and one of Richard’s godmothers Sarah “Willy” Wilson; my former rowing team mate Cath and 2 of her 3 children Willow and Ed who had driven from Thirsk at very short notice; my former Tynedale council colleague Emma with her husband and little boy ( who just happened to be up visiting Emma’s parents who live in Allendale ) my former Hadrian’s Wall colleagues and friends Tamsin and her daughter Rosie; along with Elaine and her husband David who’d travelled from Warkworth; two of our football team Mum’s who have heard wedding details on football sidelines for more than a year now; Brenda my personal style guru; Sheila, Mum of one of Lucy’s godmothers Auntie Sharon who sadly couldn’t be at the wedding as working and holidaying in Malta; Lucy’s other godmother Auntie Janet’s Mum and sister – Audrey and Joan who had made a day of it by travelling by bus to Hexham from Sunderland. Many of my Mum’s friends  and some of our neighbours Anne and Erin; and George and Marion who have know Lucy as the girl over the road for the last 17 years and finally my friendly podiatrist Julia who later text me to say what a lovely service it was adding that my shoes were great! And they were just fine!

As MOTB was slowing things down by the impromptu line up; it appeared that Granny was also enjoying a line up of her own with all of her friends taking time to congratulate her on the lovely 

service.

The plan had been for Lucy and Mark to wait till all Abbey everyone else congregated outside on Beaumont Street entrance and then have a confetti throw as they headed to the waiting car. The one thing that clearly we had no control over was the weather. The heavens had opened , and so there was firm instruction from the Ushers that there was to be NO confetti. 

So as guests sheltered outside as best they could under umbrellas, others sheltering in the entrance porch of the Abbey Lucy and Mark were accompanied by Andrew and a massive umbrella to make the short dash to Mel’s car. And off they set for Close House.

On reflection of the Abbey service, I loved every second of it. I loved all the hymns in particular Jerusalem which felt like everyone really let go and sang their hearts out, I loved the readings and sermon, I loved Sally’s singing, I loved seeing how very happy Lucy and Mark were. I didn’t have any tears – just felt very calm and happy.

Well apart from the one wobble which really took me by surprise, and only happened because my beautiful daughter hadn’t told me they had planned this bit. When Lucy and Mark were at the High Alter in prayers, Reverend Phil mentioned loved ones who were not present on earth, and named Lucy and Mark’s late Grandparents which included our much loved (from a much earlier blog you will remember Frisky Grandma) Grandma Joyce. Joyce’s husband , Lucy’s dear John was present at the Abbey and once the happy newly weds had left for Close House, John and I walked hand in hand back through the Abbey to our cars parked at the back, and as we walked we were able to share that we were sure Joyce would be so proud. Thank goodness for waterproof mascara!

The BIG day – part 1 from dawn to the drive to the Abbey

The big day dawned early, my first awareness being Lucy heading for a shower at around 6.15am. I followed my daily routine by listening to a guided positive mediation. The bit that hit home was “ This is the day that the Lord hath made”. And so , here we go and breathe...

Then it was ALL go...

7am the doorbell rang (exactly as the specified time on the trusty and now dog-eared spreadsheet) it was the lovely Claire here to start and do Lucy’s make up. They headed on the frosty morning, to the very chilly, bunting festooned, conservatory. While Lucy wanted to stay cool, poor Claire kept her shoes and coat on! I pottered making tea and laying out the food and drinks for our imminent houseful.

Chief Bridesmaid to Princess Lucy, Rachel arrived at 7.30am, closely followed by Mark’s sister Jo. More tea was made, although the chilled Bucks Fizz was beginning to make its way to the refreshments table.

It was about this point, that I have witnesses heard me say, I don't need the spreadsheet - it will all happen.

Bang on 8am the doorbell rang again (bang on schedule) this time being Lucy’s long standing hairdresser Sophie. And pretty swiftly, Lucy was made up and her hair styling begun. As I took my turn in the make up department, the house began to fill with the remainder of the bridesmaids. Sarah and Kate had had their hair done at Hexham salons who’d opened early specially for them, so arrived in casual clothes looking beautiful. Steph, Mum of flower girl Lola had arrived at her Mum’s late the night before from London, came to the house already dressed and made up.

Lucy’s good friend another Rachel (given the additional name of Cardiff Rachel to distinguish between her and Chief Bridesmaid) had stayed with us the night before, so bless her was invaluable as a “runner” between kitchen, various temporary beauty stations and upstairs when the girls were getting ready. I don't know how we would have managed without her.

Funnily enough, both Neil and Richard kept a very low profile. They were useful though when (as planned) Best Man Andrew called at 9.30am to collect the buttonholes. The flowers hadn’t quite arrived, so as Mark sat with his eyes covered in the car with Andrew’s wife Kirsty, they all decided to head off for a hearty breakfast in Hexham, and Neil would bring all the buttonholes to the Abbey. 

We then had about 1and a half hours of delightful flurry. Claire working her make up magic on four of us, and three hair dressers all doing their own magic with much hair spray ... My lovely Jeanette, arriving ahead of her time slot of 8.45am, spruced up the youngest ushers hair and as Claire was finishing my make up at 9am ( spot on schedule) Jeanette  announced she had to be back in her shop by 9.15am. She was joking but apparently my face was a picture until the penny dropped.

One of the surreal moments of the day ( of which there are many) was Richard dressed in full Usher attire playing his guitar. He was like a serenading minstrel.

Hannah Wildflower delivered the flowers – Lucy’s bouquet crammed full of white hydrangea, white and lilac roses. The girls silk bouquets were similar without the lilac roses. Stunningly simple and all exquisite.

And suddenly we were all made up, and jostling for space upstairs to get ready. Lucy had her bridesmaids on call to help get her into her dress. I had to slip by them on the landing to get to my dressing room, as I had to wait for the full reveal of the dress; they all hid Lucy with towels (!) so I could get through.

Getting ready on my own, with all the girls bustling around Lucy was an odd experience. I quietly slipped into Auriole’s creation. With my hair and make up done, I was ready. All the time, I was very calm, very happy. Should I be more emotional? No, my daughter is so happy so why be any different.

A gaggle of bridesmaids  (not sure what the correct collective noun is for bridesmaids) gathered at the bottom of the stairs and the Bride – my daughter, my baby came downstairs. She was a vision of gorgeousness. Words can hardly describe..

And then after a few photographs with the charming Chrissy, part of the double act photography team, the first car ( with Daddy Mel – see previous blog) full of bridesmaids set off for the Abbey. At this point I realised that of course when Lucy and I left the house, none of us would be back till Sunday so whatever didn’t get put away now would be left out – what a mess. But such a lovely mess.

Once the second car of bridesmaids had gone it was just me and Lucy, a few precious moments to share before giving her away. We both agreed, no tears. Just both very happy, Lucy deliberating about her shoes till the last minute..

Mel arrived back and then we realised getting this beautiful lady and her many layers of a dress into the car might not be as elegant as we’d first imagined. Anyway, once Lucy was in, I got in and had to lean my head to one side to save the Blanchland ostrich feathers from being too bent. We did our short trip to the Abbey, feeling like the Queen and her princess waving at the Saturday morning shoppers. Children pointing at the car mouthing, Oh look there’s a bride. My daughter.

And then we were there, heading into the back of this ancient place of Christian worship to walk down the ailse together. And breathe..

I think we are done!

The past three days have flown over in a flurry of wedding related activity. The logistics of what or who needed to be where took on military like precision. However , can say we have all enjoy these final few days of preparation.

Guests have started to arrive, and stay. There have been beauty appointments galore. Oh, and I went to collect my hat. I don’t think I had blogged that the perfect topper for my outfit was secured a week or more ago, at Get Ahead Hats at Blanchland. Auriole kindly brought the work-in-progress dress, and Lucy and my Mum agreed with the choice of a complimentary creation for my head! So it was with great pleasure that I headed in autumnal splendour to Blanchland yesterday morning with my dear friend Barbara (here all the way from Muscat). Barbara and I can talk for England/Ireland so hardly had a moment in our couple of hours together to draw breathe, and I love a friend who you always have something you still have to discuss.

On Wednesday evening the wedding rehearsal took place in the Abbey. It was an absolutely delightful and most memorable occasion – mainly due to Reverend Phil. The group included Mark’s Mum and Dad, 4 of the 5 bridesmaids, lovely Rachel one of Lucy’s school friends who now lives in Wales, Tony and Richard representing the Ushers, Chris - Jo’s husband doing a reading, Granny and Auntie Moo, Neil doing a reading and on sound check  and me MOTB with my permanent lists!!

Revd Phil made everyone feel most welcome and has a charming sense of humour. And suddenly,  as we practised walking down the aisle, it was even more real. “We” had a couple of run throughs, quite a few laughs, and a prayer and then the cool vicar suggested we all go for a pint. Well it would have been rude not to!

So today we only had a couple, admittedly big, tasks to do. One was delivering everything to Close House. Granny and Auntie Moo had the cakes, we had table decorations, table plan, favours etc etc. It was one of those pinch yourself kind of moments, when you are concentrating on the details and then suddenly realise – this time tomorrow...

And so tonight, we have had a lovely quiet family meal to celebrate Grandpa’s 81^st birthday (also tomorrow) joined by the two Rachel’s at the Carts Bog. Mark and his family are meeting up for a meal in Hexham.

And so it’s almost time for bed. One more sleep!! The Bride needs to be up by 6am, ready for the preparations to start.

So it is over and out, I will be back sometime soon with as much as I can remember of the big day. The day I stop being MOTB and become MIL ( Mother in Law) 

Speech!

When Lucy asked me a long time ago, to give her away ( well loan her away  , you know what I mean) she also said I was welcome to do a MOTB speech. I agreed, and have over the past months being putting together a few words to toast the Bride and Groom.

 I did laugh when I perused the wedding etiquette booklet (referred to in previous blogs) as clearly in the early 1960’s – it would have been unthinkable for any lady at the wedding to speak. Let alone the MOTB.

So taking the place of traditional Father of the Bride – the etiquette booklet says I must “Toast the health and happiness of the Bride and Groom” (TICK) ...”at an opportune moment half way through the feast” ( I do hope Close House’s delicious three courses match up the expectation of a feast. No wonder I am not sleeping!) Also – Mark wants all the speeches at the end of the meal, so no tick there on the opportune moment. The Bride in one of her  recent “ Chill Mum” moments, told me that they are so cool with the speeches that it can be any order , and don’t have to follow any etiquette! David Monks the publisher of the book would spin in his grave!

I was therefore very amused, when I then read

“The Bride usually contents herself with a smiling expression of thanks, if she wishes, to the first toast.”  I sincerely hope that this Bride will be smiling with thanks all the way through!

Technology permitting, I hope to start the speeches off with some MOTB girl power , utilising several media! Of course this girl only has the power, if her techie hubby completes the presentation for a seamless speech. ( again, I refer to my temporary insomnia)

Last weekend, I enlisted the help of my friend Anne, to listen to the first run through. And am now practicing it as much as I can, whenever I can so that if emotions ( I say if, as it is bound to be when!) overtake me, I will be able to carry on!! And then the boys take over. And I will have my first drink(s) of the day. Not long now.....

Sunrise, sunset

I have developed a habit this last week of waking in the middle of the night. It is a combination of work and weddings. I have my lists beside me and while I know everything will be fine – there clearly is a lot on my mind!! 

So after giving up on sleep last night, I put my ipod on shuffle and guess what got played first?? "Sunrise, sunset" From Fiddler on the Roof! 

Once I started to listen, I had to go and find my tissues in the dark to mop a few tears, happy ones - then I hit my shin off the wooden bed frame and spoiled the moment - having a few tears of pain! Hopefully the shiner on my shin will be covered by my dress on Saturday ! Ha...

Anyway - to share

 
Is this the little girl I carried? 
Is this the little boy at play?

I don't remember growing older
When did they?

When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he grow to be so tall?




Wasn't it yesterday
When they were small?



Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears

What words of wisdom can I give them?
How can I help to ease their way?

Now they must learn from one another
Day by day

They look so natural together








Just like two newlyweds should be

Is there a canopy in store for me?
Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears