A very special request from the Bride and a Mama Mia moment

Lucy was a bit unsure of who to ask to give her away to Mark. Lucy’s biological father, my first husband turned out to be Ivan the Terrible  and deserted both of us before she was one year old. Lucy has always appreciated the support from Neil my second husband (hope this doesn’t make me sound too much like Joan Collins!) he has never tried to replace or be her Dad. Lucy massively appreciates the fatherly and ”uncle” ly support since her early childhood from my Dad her Grandpa, and my brother – her Uncle Iain. She is also very close to her brother Richard. So there were numerous options!

However, over dinner one evening, the Bride almost made her Mother of the Bride choke on her broccoli, by saying – “What I’d really like Mum is for you to give me away”. She quickly added “You don’t have to, and you don’t have to decide right now, and whatever you do decide is absolutely fine!”

Well, after I managed to swallow my broccoli, wiped the tears from my eyes. I spent a good few weeks cogitating, decided that I would be honoured to do it. 

Although we currently joke that I am not technically giving her away, more of a long extended loan. Also, joking that the priest in the Abbey may have to prise my arm off Lucy’s arm when he asks “Who gives this woman...” with Lucy doing stage whispers of “Mum, Let go....Mum, let go!” I am sure it will be fine!

I may need to break the habit of a lifetime, and have a quick snifter of wine with Jeanette when I have my hair done on the morning, but after that just focus on enjoying the moment for what it is. That, and wearing a huge massive hat to accompany the Bride down the ancient and majestic aisle in Hexham Abbey, so that no one will notice my quivering legs and lips!

I have tried to work out why I think I will be emotional, because if I can work out why then I should be able to work out how to control it. I guess it is a mixture of huge pride in my daughter. The occasion makes me realise my unconditional and never ending love for my daughter. Also delight that Lucy found her perfect partner, as well as happiness that they are so much in love. A wedding is one of those rights of passage, another stage of her growing up. Which is all good, and I know one can cry happy tears as well as sad.

For any of my close friends who really know me and Lucy , you will know that this song from Mama Mia always gets me going. It is so true – it seems like only a week ago ( infact 18 years or so) with her school bag in her hands she was heading off into the yard in a blue and white gingham dress to Acomb First School. Thanks goodness for "Auntie Clare"...

CLICK on the link below for the Meryl Streep song – Slipping through my fingers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_ujRBLajF0

As long as no one plays that as we process together on 2^nd November then we will be fine!

Hen party planning - such fun!

The evening of the first wedding dress shopping trip was also the first meeting of the hen party planning committee. Of the five bridesmaids, two were available to come over so Rachel and Kate joined Lucy, and as always me and my Mum were in residence.

The conversations were guided skilfully by Rachel’s agenda ( I love it, how well organised,  I was so impressed! And then Rachel told me she loves a good spreadsheet, well I just found another "new" daughter as Kate was “adopted”  by me years ago!) The girls looked at various options and dates, from a weekend in Barcelona, or the Lakes, or a theatre break in London. They talked about who would be invited, who might share a room with whom, cocktails sessions and then looked at activities. We agreed that there needed to be a further subcommittee which did not involve Lucy so the activities could be fully discussed and  then implemented. As BBC1 Miranda’s Mother repeats, “Such fun!”. Rachel is coordinating plans so we are in safe hands.

The conversation turned to wedding hymns and songs for the wedding evening do entertainment and led to a bit of a spontaneous sing a long! Obviously I can’t tell which songs were being sung, but all will be revealed on the day! SUCH FUN..

Wedding dress shopping

This is going to be another one of those moments nothing quite prepares you for...seeing your daughter in a wedding dress for the first time. Oh my!

Lucy chose the anniversary of her Grandma’s passing, 15^th January as the day to go and look at wedding dresses. A special day to remember her Gran at the same time to do something exciting in planning for the future. The available posse assembled despite the weather ! My little Mercedes proving that despite the snow we would still go to the shops.

Granny, Lucy and I went to Close House to lay a remembrance rose in the little lake by Number 19 Club House, on the way to collect Rachel, Chief bridesmaid. It was a beautiful morning, a covering of snow and pale sunlight. A single swan made ripples on the pond as we had a moment or two to quietly reflect on Joyce/Gran. One of the reasons Lucy and Mark chose Close House as the venue for their wedding reception was the very special memories Lucy had of her childhood spent walking “Frisky” ( yes really that was her dogs name) and attending golf events there with her Gran.

So after a toilet break at Rachel’s house, we set off for “I do” at Hebburn. Now to give this trip some context I am driving, my Mum is co pilot and I have two blonde back seat drivers who freely admit they don’t really understand maps or directions. I had of course google mapped (with images which Rachel found a revelation) and printed off directions but when there’s snow and other traffic it wasn’t going to be easy. Anyhow we arrived in Hebburn with 2 minutes to spare before the appointment time of 11am. We entered a new world – full of ivory, white, cream - satin, tulle, silk, lace – sparkles, pearls – tiaras and veils. Oh my again...

Then we met our guide for the experience – we’ll call her M to protect identity. She took us all up to the area of dresses for Lucy to start choosing from. Rachel took control of the box of 6 identical coloured pegs  and M was very helpful in explaining that while it seems overwhelming to start off with, once you start trying on, you quickly soon get to know what you like and don’t like. So Lucy and Rachel set off, sometimes disappearing into the depths of miles of fabric. My Mum and I were parched...desperate for a hot drink.

Once the 6 dresses had been pegged, we were all taken into another room which had a changing area behind grey silk curtains and a few seats for the posse. It was still snowing outside, and have to say there was a freezing draught inside. The bride to be was dressed by M – the posse entertained by Lucy’s comment from behind the curtain – including regularly saying “ Heads through” it sounded more like “ One born every minute” than “Don’t tell the Bride”!

And out she came – my baby, my beautiful daughter – dressed in a beautiful dress. I had expected to be emotional, but the draught, the need for peppermint tea and I’m sure that this wasn’t THE dress – so I was surprised that I didn’t have a wobble. By now, my Mum took the bull by the horns, and politely asked M if there was anywhere nearly we could go out to get a hot drink....clever. M said , “Oh do you want a coffee? We’ll put the kettle on”.  Thank you...So Granny got her coffee, and I got hot water to put my peppermint tea bag in (always carry them in my handbag!) and we settled back to watch the rest of the dresses. M had been correct, very quickly Lucy knew what she liked and didn’t. M skilfully dressed Lucy in garments that didn’t quite fit with the use of all things bull dog clips  - could be THE accessory of 2013! I visited the Ladies Powder Room hidden behind even more wedding dresses and we were on the road again.

We left “I do” with a couple of favourites, and a definite idea of a preferred style. We headed for “Exclusively Yours” in Wingate – once again the heady combination of snow and two blondes directing me to what can only be described as the place time forgot. 

We hadn’t eaten and as we weren’t sure where we were going (!!) decided to get some lunch when we got there. Peter’s bakery on main street in Wingate got the best sale of the day at 1.30pm when we four hungry and cold travellers dropped in. There were signs stuck on the wall reading tempting things like “Hot soup!” or “Tea”, “Coffee”, “Hot bacon rolls” etc. Meanwhile, the sandwich filling tubs looked suspiciously full, and the drinks chiller cabinet was almost empty.

“What soup do you have today?” I politely enquired.

 “No soup today” the lady retorted not as politely.

 “Ok, then two hot bacon rolls please...”

“I’ll just see how much bacon we have left”...she rummaged in the tin, “Do you like it crispy?”

( Look love, we are desperate, we’ll eat anything if it is hot!!)

“ YES we like crispy” both my Mum and I replied..

 Lucy and Rachel opted for the meal deal – a sandwich, bag of crisps and a drink.

 “What drinks do you get with the meal deal – does it include a hot drink?” we enquired ,still polite.

“Anything out of the fridge” we looked over at the one bottle of water and three Fruit Shoots  “ And we haven’t got any cups for hot drinks” she added helpfully, I’m sure I saw a wry smile playing about her lips.

So we four went back to the car with Peters finest, and devoured it all. As we looked down the deserted main street in the swirling sleet, we pondered on what “Exclusively Yours” would be like.

Parking outside the shop, we trooped in  - by now all of us having various levels of urgency in the need of a Powder Room. While I tried to batter the entrance door down which I thought was slightly stuck, I turned into an enforcer as the door stubbornly refused to open. We then all read the welcoming signs pinned to the door.

First – Ring bell to enter; second – No food or drink allowed and finally, No public toilet

So we rang the bell, and entered another world. The vast array of dresses were hung in what appeared to be Greek Temple stage sets. A small fan heater blowing out cold air was turned on, as the lady said it was quite cold today. There were no pegs offered to Rachel, so Lucy had a quick look around. Meanwhile my Mum who really, really needed the toilet enquired, “I know the sign says no public toilet, but we are customers and ....” she didn’t get to finish her sentence. The owner interjected...” We don’t have a toilet, well we do but only for medical emergencies” . Now I’m sure you are thinking what we were all thinking if Granny didn’t go soon it would be an emergency. We then heard a very long story about how they hang all the dresses waiting to be collected in the staff toilet, and how one time before this rule, someone had been in the toilet and spread make up all over the new dresses. Whether this was true or not we will never know, but by then Granny was past desperate. We asked if there was a toilet nearby, looking hopefully across the road to the tattoo parlour and barbers shop. There was a cafe up the street they might have one. 

My Mum dashed off, and Lucy went into one of the Greek Temples to be laced into the dresses picked out for her. The first few dresses were ok, but definitely in the category of helping work out which ones she didn’t like. After a good half hour, I began to wonder where my Mum had got to. Eventually she returned, explaining that she’d had to buy a coffee to be able to use the toilet! And that of course the coffee was filling her up again.

However, sometimes in these odd situations something magical happens. The lady helping Lucy had said, “Shall I get the tulle?” Lucy thought she meant a hammer and by then was so tired from heaving heavy frocks round Athens ....so agreed. When she came out – I asked if they had any veils and head dresses that she could try with this dress. And then it happened for all of us. Suddenly there was our Princess Lucy . We were all a bit misty eyed. WOW.

So we returned to civilisation, chatting about what we liked and didn’t; and laughing about the adventures we’d shared. And that was only the first viewing ......and we had a good evening ahead, a hen party planning meeting. And that’s the topic of another blog..

Lost in a world of flowers....

Lucy and Mark have been to visit a couple of different florists about the big day. They decided on booking with Hannah from Wildflower Florists having been very impressed with her examples of other wedding flowers. They have both been clear about what type of flowers and what colours they would like.

I was delighted to be asked at very short notice one evening, to go with Lucy to confirm the final plans at Hannah’s office at Vallum Farm. On a cold dark evening, we sat around the table discussing types of vases, looking at beautiful examples of bouquets and button holes and obviously can’t give too much away but it was so exciting. I think I only uttered the words, “Hope I’m not interfering” a couple of times. We were there about an hour, but it was such a precious time for me with Lucy. 

Some of these moments are the reason why I wanted to blog – just to remember the whole journey. As I know the time will fly by as well as the day itself  - and I want to remember these lovely details. 

Top present!

Here's the brilliant birthday present which I received from Helen. It proves to be a conversation opener! I use it nearly everyday...and keep my lists and spreadsheets in it at the moment. 
On the BIG day I think it will be emergency supplies – waterproof mascara, hankies, lip balm, paracetamol, slippers and maybe a hip flask! A bit like Jennifer Lopez in "The Wedding Planner"....

Sorry I am still very new to blogging and I can't turn the photo round! But you get the idea..

Spook night fright and everything happens for a reason

As mentioned in a previous posting, the date was set for the wedding to be in October 2013. The nearest date to Lucy and Mark’s “going out” anniversary, where both Hexham Abbey and Close House were available, turned out to be October 26^th. And so the photographers and entertainment were booked accordingly.

As that date loomed in 2012, a good friend of mine Tamsin, who heads up the Hexham Community Partnership spotted that October 26^th 2013 would be the town’s annual Spook Night. The event takes over the whole of the historic market place and closes down Beaumont Street. Spook night is an array of fairground attractions and stalls including a ghost train and outside the Abbey a massive Ferris wheel. Anyone who knows Lucy knows she doesn’t like Halloween at the best of times, so imagine her horror as realisation that their special day would shared with Spooks! 

So after floods of tears in the middle of Beaumont Street on 27^th October 2012 when Mark, Lucy and Granny went to check out what it would be like late morning on the day.... the couple decided their big date would have to change! Thankfully only a few close family and friends had the October date pencilled in to diaries – and so after much stressing, it became clear that the Abbey and Close House, the photographers and entertainment could accommodate the week later – so the date became Saturday 2^nd November 2013. Another very special date in the Norton family as this is my Dad’s, Lucy’s Grandpa’s birthday. Once confirmed, we all agreed it just feels right.

So on 2^nd November 2012, at a quiet family celebration meal for Dad’s 80^th birthday, Lucy and Mark asked Grandpa what he would do to celebrate his 81^st birthday. He answered that he wasn’t sure, as he’d had a lot of excitement on his 80^th...so then they asked him if he’d like to come to their wedding. He was delighted, and added that it was very special, as Lucy was born on their (my Mum and Dad’s) wedding anniversary and they would be married on his birthday. 

Wedding fayre –there’s no show without punch!

As plans began to get firmed up, the regional wedding fayre season began. Lucy and Mark identified the annual event at Gosforth Park Racecourse as one worth attending. They asked a few special guests...of the Bridesmaids both Rachel and Sarah were free and able to attend. Then there was Lucy’s Granny – my Mum Pam, Mark’s Mum Avril, Great Auntie Muriel (my Mum’s sister visiting from Canada and delighted to be here to join the party!) and me – Mother of the Bride!

The Posse!

Hats off to Mark – accompanying this posse of women.  He wasn't the only man there, but they were outnumbered by about 10 to 1. 

We all enjoyed the event including a live singer and fashion show, hundreds of stalls with cake ideas, photographers, favours suppliers, florists, a stall for cosmetic surgery staffed by several  severely botoxed ladies and a crude magician! We all got goody bags on departure so a good day out. 

Lucy and Mark then attended another wedding fayre the next weekend and met and subsequently booked a talented wedding singer to entertain at the evening reception. The spreadsheet now has a fifth tab – songs for Gary!

Let’s just enjoy being engaged...to spreadsheets

On returning back from the Lakes, Lucy and Mark shared their exciting news with family members and special friends.  Once they had spoken to everyone they wanted to, the announcement went viral on Facebook. Everyone they spoke to shared in their joy and were delighted with the news.

I rang Mark’s parents in Wynyard to share our respective excitement. And suddenly it was sinking in. There was a wedding on the horizon...

On the Saturday evening, as we settled down as family to celebrate and multi task by watching the Champions League final ( Chelsea vs Bayern Munich, which just for information Chelsea won on penalties!!) both Lucy and Mark said that there was no rush to start organising wedding details. They would just take some time to relax, and enjoy being engaged.

A week later, they had started looking at a few venues for receptions and had made an initial appointment to see the Rector of Hexham Abbey! Within another few weeks, they had agreed on a date in October 2013 (which will be their three year going out anniversary) and booked Hexham Abbey and Close House at Heddon on the Wall for the reception. They had sourced photographers and set up a few meetings. I have loved watching them get organised. They do it so well together, no fussing just both very clear about what they want. The house was filled with wedding magazines and the Sky Planner filled with the weird and wonderful world of wedding shows. David Tutera becoming a firm favourite!!!

Anyone who knows me, knows I love a good spreadsheet! So it was inevitable that I was itching to set one up for the wedding planning process. I had to be careful not to interfere..( ha, I laugh at myself for saying that, as I am sure this will be a familiar expression as the plans progress) Anyway, one weekend in mid summer when they were at our house, we sat in the conservatory discussing details and budget as you do, and I offered to do a spreadsheet. They both said yes, and we were off. It has four tabs and is colour coded. Champion!

Nothing prepares you for parenthood....

There are many things as a parent that one feels unprepared for, and being asked for your only daughters hand in marriage is one of them. Way back in May 2012 Mark rang me during the daytime, he’d never rung me ever in two years of knowing him, so maybe I should have thought something was up!

Mark was very polite, and after some initial small talk he told me that he would like to take Lucy away for a treat the following day to a Hotel in the Lake District to celebrate finishing his exams. He then said while he was away he would like my permission to ask her to marry him. Yikes! I said things like “Wow, that’s wonderful” and “I’m delighted” – I am not actually sure that I said the word yes...

Anyway, I had then to keep the biggest secret ever for more than 24 hours from my beautiful unsuspecting daughter. It was a tough task as we do share pretty much everything! 

And then we had to wait on tenter hooks until they rang, actually it was Facetime as no mobile signal from the secluded Lake District Hotel....to share the exciting news. Mark had given Lucy the most gorgeous diamond solitaire white gold ring. A classic beauty – and a perfect fit for Lucy.

Mark had gone down on one knee while playing Take That song “ Rule the World” and asked the question, Lucy said YES and suddenly I’m the Mother of the Bride!